My Diary:The seventh year at Hogwarts
by Oh Girl
Summary: What do you do when you're in love with the most popular and handsome boy in the school? Sirius Black will flirt with me sure, but what does it mean? Not to mention B.S. Oh and the fact that my best friend is Lily Evans.
1. Sirius Black!

_Disclaimer: Apart from Jess, I do not own any of the characters, that honour resides with J.K.Rowling._

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**Chapter 1 - Sirius Black! drools**

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Gryffindor Common Room.

9:15pm 

Well, personaly I don't think much of this.

It's quarter past 9 and I am sitting here alone once again becuase Lily has gone to sit with that stupid Potter and his stupid friends. Apart from Black, my future husband that is. I suppose Lupin is alright too actually..like that time in transfiguration when I knocked over my books and he smiled at me and helped me pick them up. Well anyway Potter and Pettegrew, they are stupid.

Oh look now, they are all laughing at something.

Yeah, laugh it up guys.

Hang on! Whats this? Lily is talking to Sirius Black (OMFGZ! dies) and SMILING at him. That COW! She knows I like him and now she's blatantly flirting with him. RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE!

That's it.

I'm never talking to her again.

9:25pm

Oh wait! She was telling him to come and talk to me!

Oh I love her!

She's the best friend ever.

Never doubted her for a second.

Oh merlins beard here he comes!

He's bloody gorgeous, I'll say that for him.

9:30pm

Ok he CAME OVER TO ME (looking really sexy) and LEANT DOWN IN FRONT OF ME (looking even better close up, I might add) and he PUT HIS HAND ON MY LEG, I mean, well he rested it there for a secind while he knelt down to balance himself so that we were face to face (I think I may have drooled a little), but still.

A hand on a leg is a hand on a leg.

So anyway THEN as I was being amazed by his INCREDIBLE eyes he spoke.

Spoke to ME.

Spoke to ME with his amazing MOUTH.

Using his TONGUE to form words which he addressed to ME.

I think I may be a little obsessed.

SIRIUSBLACKSPOKETOME.

Next thing I know I'm nodding and he's HOLDING OUT HIS HAND TO ME to help me up and then I followed him over to Potter and his little gang.

I haven't a clue what he said actually, but hell, was I gonna disagree with Sirius Black?

No.

He may think i am strange but that cannot be helped.


	2. Black is so bigheaded

_Disclaimer: Apart from Jess, I do not own any of the characters, that honour resides with J.K.Rowling._

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**_Milkshake gone bad_**** _- Thanks for the review, yo crazy kid, you._**

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**Chapter 2 - Black is _so_ bigheaded!**

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Girls Dormitary.

1:45am

Well that was an exciting night.

Excuse the sudden ending of my last post, I noticed Sirius looking at me strangely (I was just scribbling in a book while he was trying to converse with me after all) so I decided to put you back into my bag untill later.

Well anyway after Sirius led me over to where Potter, Lily, Lupin and Pettegre were sitting, by the window, I spent most of the night gazing at him rapturously anyway. So it wouldn't have been to interesting for you to read.

He is gorgeous though. As I said.

Ok Lily has just come over and sat herself on my bed, she wants to talk to me about tonight.

_Hello..this is Lily writing. I do hope you will excuse me for intruding onto your parchment when you are so used to Jess, but I wanted to read what it said and couldn't resist writing something. Anyway Jess! I cannot believe you wrote that about me, I would never flirt with Black, he's so bigheaded! I actualy cannot believe you like him..he's not that good looking -_

Yes he is.

_He isn't..well..not really. I'd prefer Potter over him anyway._

I wonder why..

_Shut up! _

2:05am

Lily's gone back to bed, after I wrote that she hit me over the head with a pillow, can you believe it! So I hit her back and a fight occured, then McGonagall came in (old bat) and told us off.

Well anyway.

I'm tired.

Double Transfiguration next thing tomorrow. Goodie.

Not.

G'night.


	3. Gee, thanks mum

_Disclaimer: Apart from Jess, I do not own any of the characters, that honour resides with J.K.Rowling._

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**_The Silent Writer_****_ - Thanks! I hope so._**

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**Chapter 3 - Gee, thanks Mum.**

_**A/N: Please R&R. Constructive critisism accepted and please, just tell me if you like it! Thanks!**_

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Great Hall.

9:45am

Geez, I'm so tired! I can barely eat my cerial. I'd better though since first up is a whole two hours under McGonagalls nose. Oh joys!

Oh wait! Post is here!

9:50am

I got a letter from Mum!

I'll magic it in here!

_Jessica Alexandra Besten!_

_I cannot believe you! You left all of those new clothes I bought for you at home, you silly girl! Now I will be sending them by next owl, no fear. Don't you dare even think of throwing them away or not wearing them! I spent a fortune on those so you will just have to wear them no matter how repulsive you think they are! Honestly! I can't understand what you see wrong with them they are lovely!_

_Love, Mum._

_p.s. I see from the notes you have scribbled all over your wall that you are crushing over a certain Sirius Black. Jessica, I asked your older brother Tom about this and he informs me that Sirius Black is NOT the sort of boy my daughter should be associating herself with. I'm telling you Jess, if you bring home to me any Sirius Black (who, your brother tells me, is not only dating a different girl each minute, but also is playing pranks left, right and center at Hogwarts) I will personally disown you._

Gee, thanks mum.

Oh god! She's sending those clothes! I tried so hard to leave them behind without her noticing! Let me tell you diary they are DISCUSTING! If Sirius Black sees me in those clothes I will never live it down. Emergency shopping trip needed! I'll have to go next Hogsmeade weekend with Lily.

Oh shit! Transfiguration started 5 minutes ago!

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Great Hall - Lunch

12:30pm

Thank Christ that's over.

Honestly I swear McGonagall bullies Gryffindor more than any other house in a vain attempt to look 'fair'. Or she bullies me more atleast. Just becuase I was talking to Lily during her stupid lecture on turning bees into butterflys. I mean it was a serious conversation! I was telling Lily about how mega hot Sirius Black looked in his Hogwarts robes. And just becuase when she told me to tell the class what was so important that i had to discuss it in her lesson I said "Nothing that concerns the class, Professor." But honestly! I mean Sirius was in that class, grinning at me next to stupid Potter (who was just staring dumbstruck at Lily). And just becuase when she called me up to her desk I sort-of tripped when I walked past Black and stubbed my toe and shouted "Fuck!".

No need to give me detention.

Evil cow.

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Gryffindor Common Room

6:00pm

Gah, today was sooo boring! Nothing interesting happened apart from McGonagalls lesson. Oh and her detention. I had to help her sort out Gryffindor records. Dull as.

I might go and read a book or something. That is how bored I am. I need a life.

_Hello, this is Lily again. Hahaha, Jess, you kill me! (and by the way Sirius Black is NOT HOT! For the millionth time.) Aaanyways glad to see you had fun with McGonagall. She's not that bad! you just wind her up._

Says miss 'model student'

_I am not! I'm really bad in Divination.._

_Anyway! Sorry diary but I may have to ask Jess to stop writing in you, it's hogging her time and I want to talk to her!_

Oh yeah? What about?

_I'll tell you in a minute.._

Why not now?

_Becuase it's in this diary.._

Lils, it's some paper. It can't understand you and it's not going to rush off and tell people.

_Oh, alright then! Well James Potter asked me out again._

And? He does it like every other day.

_Well I told him I'd think about it..becuase I was thinking I might say yes.._

Whats this? Lily MIGHT LIKE James Potter? How did this come to happen? You said he was a bigheaded prat the other day!

_Jess! That was months ago! He's not really bigheaded anyway. I've..WE'VE been hanging out with them recently. he's quite nice..don't you think?_

Mmm..

_And good looking?_

Mmm..

_Do you even think hes nice?_

Well, to be honest I haven't been paying him much attention. I've had someone of my own to watch.

_Black._

How did you guess:o

_Haha.._

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7:30pm

Well after that me & Lily went and sat with Potter and his crew again. It was like hormone city. I've honestly never seen two people flirt so much. I should tell Lily's

parents, they think she's so innocent! I spoke to Sirius a bit but to be honest I think he's getting bored of me. He had his eyes on a few girls in the room while we we're speaking, anyway.

Well..I'm turning in.

Night.


	4. Down with BS!

_Disclaimer: Apart from Jess, I do not own any of the characters, that honour resides with J.K.Rowling._

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**_writerchicky1425_****_ - Thanks! I hope so._**

**_Milkshake gone bad_**** - I will look into your McGonagall theory, maybe you should tell JKR? **

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**Chapter 4 - Down with B.S!**

_**A/N: Please R&R. Constructive critisism accepted and please, just tell me if you like it! Thanks!**_

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End of the world.

Who cares? Sometime in the am.

Well my life is over. Sirius Black has a new girlfriend. And she is a million times prettier then me. She's all cute & blonde & giggly. Sickening really. I can't believe this. My life just ended. They are sitting on the other end of the table. Next to each other. And she keeps flicking her hair and feeding Black his stupid breakfast. And now they are making out. And when they stop he's just going to be staring at her again, like she's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

I hate her. The worst thing is she's fucking gorgeous. It almost hurts to look at her. It actually does hurt to look at her and Black.

Oh yeah and to top it all off my new clothes came this morning and I had to wear them under my robes since I have hardly anything else. They are so discusting, all kind of cute and frilly but with a "keep off, or my daddy will kill you." look to them. Boys are giving wide berth already.

I'm leaving for potions. Life couldn't get any worse. I hope I drown in my cauldron.

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Potions/Hell.

10:45

My life got worse.

I came into Potions and sat down behind my desk feeling miserable as ever.

Professor Slughorn said we were going to be moving onto group work in Potion making. I looked at Lily and she smiled sympathetically back at me, agreeing to be my partner. He then announced that we were going to be working in groups of 3. We then both looked at Rachel (Ravenclaw, tall and cheerfull type. Not exactly inner circle friend, but shes alright.) So our group was sorted out.

That was untill Sluggy said that he was going to be assigning us with our partners, and that this project was going to last untill Christmas break. Well, you can guess how miserable people were then. I was just hoping somehow that I'd still be assigned to work with Lily and maybe some other girl, I'm quite friendly with a few of them. Lily's a genius at Potions, if I got stuck with her I'd definatly pass.

But no.

Lily was in group 2. Basically her, Potter & Blacks SLUT (who is actually called Corrina Day.)

And who was I stuck with? Oh yes. I was in group 5.

Me, Black and some greasy slytherin called Severus Snape.

And right now I'm sitting at a table with those two.

And Black is grinning over at Corrina (or as I said B.S for short) and shes waving back at him and flicking her hair.

And Snape is squeezed at the end of the table, determined not to touch either of us and flicking frantically through a potions book, desperate to achieve an O no doubt.

Dear lord.

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Common Room

8:30pm

Thank god that day is over. The rest of it was crap, after the Potions episode. All boring, dull, uninteresting world. With added hate for B.S. Oh goodie here comes Black, Potter, Lupin & Pettegrew. No doubt wanting to chat to me and Lily again for a while. I'll see you later then i suppose diary.

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Dormitory

11:15pm

Lily said yes to James earlier and they went off outside to talk a walk and "get some fresh air". Yeah right Lily, that is the oldest (and may I add, most pathetic) excuse in the book. So I chated to Lupin for a while and then Sirius moved over next to me (he'd been sitting next to James & Lily).

"Hi." he said.

"Hey.."

"Hows it going?"

"A little left to the right of good."

He laughed! Thank god, I thought saying that would completely fuck up my chances.

"Hey..Jess, can I talk to you for a minute..?"

Lucky that you remebered my name right in the nick of time there, Black.

"Umm sure.."

He stood up and I stood up too. Then he walked over to the portrait hole with me.

"Where are you two going!" asked Remus.

Sirius grinned and winked at me. "To get some fresh air." he said, then grabbed my hand and ran thorugh the portrait hole.

I was laughing by this time as he dragged me along by my hand. Then we stopped abrubtly outside an empty classroom and he gestured for me to go inside. I did and turned around to se him closing the door, then walking towards me with this wolfish grin on his face. It was actually a really big turn on. He then pushed me up against a wall. I banged my head and it hurt quite alot actually but I didnt have much time to think about that because the next second he had pushed himself up against me, pinning me to the wall, and pressed his lips onto mine. Boy, was he a good kisser. Not surprising really, the amount of practice he must get.

All that was going through my head at the time really was "Is Sirius Black really kissing me? And what if a teacher walks in? Or worse what if someone really gross walks in like Severus Snape or B.S. Oh shit B.S! What about her? Did they split up? I don't think they split up becuase last time I saw them they looked pretty attached..and that was about 6 minutes ago..." But I didn't have any more time to think anymore of that becuase he stopped kissing me.

Then he wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his robes (stil grinning) and said "Pretty good, sweetheart."

I was still looking at him a little confusedly when he said "Nice top."

I didn't know whether or not he was being sarcastic but since the top was discusting (light blue with a frilly neck and long sleeves with "hands off" written over the er..breast area) I assumed he was.

"I hate it." I said.

He said "No, I reckon it makes you look all sort of innocent and forbidden...like a sexy virgin type thing!"

I couldn't think of anything to say to this.

He checked his watch.

"Oops, looks like I gotta go love, I'l seeya real soon."

Then he winked at me and ran out of the door. I stood there for a second, wondering what had happened, then I walked out of the classroom to see Black, with his arm around B.S, halfway down the corridor. That whore! Grrr.

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Dormitory

12:55pm

Sirius Black has some wierd fantasies.

_**A/N: Heyyy kids, please review as always. How did you like that one? Sorry it took so long, I promise I will update with SUPER MEGA SPEED if you guys review! Love you all for reading.**_


	5. Lily is fiery

_Disclaimer: Apart from Jess, I do not own any of the characters, that honour resides with J.K.Rowling._

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**Chapter 5 - Lily is fiery.**

_**A/N: This chapter is especially for Silent Storm 2000 becuase she's reviewing and she seems to like the story! Also this one is quite long..and I updated it quite fast (for me) so review as a thankyou, Pleeaaaassseee! Oh and tell me YOUR IDEAS for what should happen next if you have any. :)**_

I'm sorry this one is a bit rubbish! But I have a bit of writers block at the moment.

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Great hall.

8:30am.

Lily woke me up REALLY early this morning, becuase she heard about Sirius and my..er...jaunt last night. I wouldn't tell her anything though. Hah! Over my dead body will I tell you about that Lily. Oh here she comes for another try.

_Come on tell me!_

No.

_Oh please! _

No.

_Fine. I'm asking Sirius._

No! Don't ask Sirius! Ok I'll tell you! Geez..

_Go on then._

We went for a walk by the lake.

_And?_

We danced.

_You danced!_

Yes, we danced under the starlit sky with firelight glinting in our eyes.

_Oh thats it! I'm asking Sirius._

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She asked him. She fucking asked him! And heres what he said!

Lily: Sirius! Can you tell me what you and Jess did last night?

Sirius: Why my dear Evans, we had a little chat didn't we Jessy?

Lily: Don't bullshit me, Black. Just tell me what goddamned happened.

Sirius (grinning): All right! All right love! Keep your knickers on.

James (practically growling): Sirius...

Sirius: Sorry Prongs mate. Me and Jess had a look around one of the empty classrooms.

Lily (shouting): Oh My God! You two made out!

Sirius (glancing over at B.S. on the other end of the table in a panic): Jesus Lily! Keep your bloody voice down!

Lily: I can't believe you two.

And she hasn't spoken to either of us since. Which I think is a bit harsh on me. It's not like it's my fault.

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Common Room

2:00pm

Lily come on talk to me.

_No._

Come on! It's not like it's my fault!

_How isn't it your fault? It takes two to tango you know._

Oh Lily but I didn't really have much choice in the tangoing now did I?

_Why? What happened? You never told me, did you._

He just sort of..dragged me to an empty classroom and then pushed me into it and pinned me against the wall, I swear, and kissed me! I was trapped! I had no choice.

_You didn't have to kiss him back._

Lily you know I've liked him for ages. I don't know why your so upset about it anyway!

_Becuase Corrina is a really nice girl._

A really nice airheaded bitch.

_She's not! She's quite lovely, even if she is a little..ditzy._

Whatever. She upset me so I can upset her.

_She didn't upset you on purpose! She didn't know you like Sirius. You would have done the same to her._

Whatever.

_Nobody deserves that Jess._

Well what do you want me to do? She's dating Sirius Black okay? She's bound to get upset by him in one way or another.

_Talk to Black. Ask him who he really likes, you or her._

No.

_Then forget us being friends Jess. Becuase if you wont do that then i don't know you._

FINE! I'll ask the tosser.

_Thanks._

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Dormitory

6:10pm

I still don't know what happened with her and Potter though. But I think I can guess since when I asked her about it she went all red and giggled something about him tickling her under the beech tree.

I'm feeling that maybe I should talk to Lupin about this Sirius thing. But really he's just like a male version of Lily, except quieter. I'd never talk to Pettegrew though. He's so wierd. He's really strangely obsessed with Potter and Black I've noticed. Always sucking up to them, always laughing at their jokes, trying to impress them.

Oh ok I gotta go now, Lily is looking at me strangely hinting that I should go talk to Sirius...Now. So I'd better, she's fiery.

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Dormitory

10:15pm

It happened again. I told Sirius I had to talk to him..loudly, to please Lily and he said "Ok sugar." and folllowed me out of the portrait hole. I was inteding to talk to him then and there but he carried on walking. I followed him untill he stopped at a broom closet and pushed me inside, kissing me again. I stopped kissing him straight away though (well, maybe I left it for a few minutes, but who can blame me?) and said "Sirius, er..aren't you still going out with Corrina."

He grinned and said "Yeah, why?"

"Well, why are you kissing me then?"

"I like a bit of excitement in my relationships. Don't want to get bored, do I?"

"Er.."

But then he kissed me again and I thought _' Well whatever, it's not like I didn't try. Might aswell..go with the flow'_. I know Lily would hate me for this..but he's just so bloody sexy that I can't help myself.

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_**A/N: Well I fully expect Silent Storm 2000 to review. And also I'M OPEN FOR SUGGESTIONS if anybody has any. I'm having a bit of writers block incase that didn't show. And I want this story to entertain you, so give me some ideas people. I might use them. I might not..it depends if they will fit in with what I want to happen last on.**_

_**I'm thinking of starting another fic too..maybe a serious one this time.**_

_**Lovelovelove**_

_**Hayley.**_


	6. Potter is Superman!

_Disclaimer: Apart from Jess, I do not own any of the characters, that honour resides with J.K.Rowling._

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**Chapter 5 - Potter is Superman!**

_**A/N: IVE CHANGED THE NAME & DESCRIPTION OF THIS FIC, but it's still the same one. Just for your information, this story is set in the Marauders final year at Hogwarts. And also TELL ME YOUR IDEAS. I want this story to entertain you so tell me what you want to happen. If it fits I'll use it. And once again: Pen-name not starcadet. It's OhGirl. Don't sue me..or anything..**_

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Girls Dormitories.

11:50pm.

I'm almost Sirius Black's official girlfriend. Must buy new clothes.

12:20am.

You know life is so great, but I mustn't let it go to my head.

12:40am

He loves meeeeeee. He loves meeeeee. I'm the greatest girl to enter Hogwarts _ever._

1:10am

Immediate diet starting tomorrow. Absolutely NO junk food. Just healthy food in healthy proportions. This will be a change since my diet is usually along the lines of:

**Breakfast: **

Pancakes with lots of sugar & maple syrup. Goblet of Frozzelade. A chocolate frog.

**Snack in-between classes:**

Small bag of _Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans_. Sugar mouse.

**Lunch:**

More Frozzelade. A pumpkin sandwitch. Some Chocoballs.

**Another Snack:**

Big bag of Pepper Imps.

**Dinner:**

Pumpkin Juice. Small roast with plenty of apple sauce. Strawberries with clotted cream and sugar.

**After Dinner:**

More _Bertie Botts_ beans with Lily. Another sugar mouse or two. Some Butterbeer in the evening.

Not to mention all the sugar quills that I get through in classes.

NO I must be healthy. None of that stuff anymore. I know I'm not fat, but I'm not exactly skinny anymore. I MUST SLIM DOWN. And then buy tight clothes. It's worth it for Sirius Black.

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Great Hall

10:20am

No Breakfast. This is going well. I'm not even hungry.

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Lunch

Healthy. One pumpkin sandwitch. Goblet of water.

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Potions

1:10pm

Snape was absent today, so it was just me and Sirius. He spent the lesson groping my leg under the desk. He said that the reason Snape was absent was becuase at breakfast him and Potter had put Laxatives in his goblet of pumpkin juice. This made me laugh quite alot, although I did feel a bit sorry for poor "Snivellous" as Sirius has fondly nick-named him.

The group task we're supposed to be working on is human transformation. We're supposed to be inventing our own potion to change something about the way a person looks. The group that concucts the most clever potion, with the most effective results (and the most inventive) apparently wins some sort of prize. I'm betting its a special potion, Slughorn always gives out potions as prizes, but they are usually good. Me and Sirius were meant to have spent the lesson brainstorming ideas for what potion we're going to make, but really we spent the lesson flirting. I was giggling quite alot and B.S. was giving me evil looks from across the room with Lily, but she couldn't do anything about it. Haha!

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Great Hall

Dinner

Theres a match on after this, I plan to go down and watch. Gryffindor versus Slytherin. James is playing seeker which means people keep coming over to wish him luck and slap him on the back. You'de think he'd be nervous but he isn't at all. He just sit there smiling smugly, every now and then ruffling his hair, as though sure that he would win the game no problem.

Sirius told me that straight after dinner him, James, Remus and Peter are going to Hogsmeade to get some booze for when Gryffindor win the match. They are planning a huge party. I asked them how they were going to get into Hogsmeade since its not a visiting weekend but they all just grinned at each other and told me not to worry my pretty little head about that.

But still, I wonder..

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Common Room.

5:30pm

The "Marauders", as they like to call themselves, just came down from The boys dormitories and gestured for me and Lily to follow them up there. We went inside and literally gasped. Spread over thier four beds were so many bottles of alcohol that you couldn't see the bedsheets. Apparently they used Potters invisibility cloak, but that still doesnt explain how they got into Hogsmeade, but they wont answer questions. They told us that students have been giving them lists of what they want and the money to pay for it and so thats what they were getting for the party.

Those guys are seriously the coolest.

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Quidditch Pitch

6:25pm

Gryffindor just this second won the match today against Slytherin, it was a really spectacular catch of the snitch from Potter, who is now the house hero for the night as usual. Theres a party in Gryffindor tower starting any minute now, the team are carrying Potter back up to the dormiteries on their shoulders. I had to write this down though becuase I'm at the pitch and its SO LOUD seriously the screaming from the Gryffindors when we won, Lily was dancing and jumping and hugging me. All through the match Sirius, Remus and Peter were all doing mexican waves and shouting increasingly stupid things like "POTTER FOR THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE!", "GO PRONGS, GO! SHAKE YOUR BROOM TO AND FRO! CATCH THE SNITCH, WIN THE CUP, AND WE'LL PARTY 'TILL WE'RE FUCKED!" and "POTTER JOINED GHOSTBUSTERS! NO WAIT, POTTER JOINED THE POWER RANGERS! NO...POTTER IS SUPERMAN!"

Well anyway I gotta go everyones heading back to Gryffindor Tower for the hugest party ever and I plan to get rather drunk.

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_**A/N: Oooh a cliffy, sorta. The next one should be rather good, Find out what Jess and everyone got up to under the influence of butterbeer and LOTS of firewhiskey. Hehehe. So you'de better REVIEW becuase untill I get more reviews I shant write. folds arms Go! Go! Go! Go! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE! REVIEW!**_

_**Lovelovelove**_

_**Hayley.**_


	7. The Party

_Disclaimer: Apart from Jess, I do not own any of the characters, that honour resides with J.K.Rowling._

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**Chapter 7 - The party.**

_**A/N: Thanks for your reviews. I have decided that from now on I will reply to all of them,..unless obviously I get like hundreds...which wouldnt be a bad thing but might take up too much room for an actual story replying to them. So here goes for those of you that reviewed the last chapter!**_

**Silent Storm 2000** - Aww thanks you really are the best reviewer EVER. No that I've guilt tripped you don't stop reviewing! Hehe you rock! I hope you had a brilliant time eating those frosted flakes.I hope your ok after running into a random wall, but thanks for dancing with me:)

**pink hardcore** - Wow your name is neat! Haha thanks, who DOESN'T love Sirius? And what are they taking? Umm yes I guess I have updated if you are reading this so go on..REVIIIEEWWWW. :D

**foodisgood** - I agree! Food _is_ good:cough: ahem anyway back to your review:checks your review: Haha thanks! Insanity eh? I thought my story was actually quite boring but I'm glad you people seem to like it...anyway:cough:

**Jess Stone** - Wow I bet you feel privellaged that I named the main character after you? Nahh I'm only kidding she was named becuase I like the name Jess. So yeah..I like your name! Can I borrow it, please? My name is so sucky..:pouts: ANYWAY your review...:checks: Ah yes! Thanks! I'm glad that you think its really really funny, that lifted my spirits. Hurray for lifting my spirits! And yes I'm shocked that people don't review my story too :frowns at all the evil non-reviewers: And if you guys read it and DON'T REVIEW..well your the worst! Thats like..stealing. Come on I just want some feedback...Anyway...I keep getting sidetracked..what was I saying? Oh yeah..THANKS!

**AnnaLangdon **- Hehe thanks..yeah people think Jess is sweet. She fools even me! But just you wait! Muahaha:cough: sorry..did I just go evil again..where are my pills..? THANKS for reviewing.

**And if anyone reviewed in the other chapters and is mad cos thye didn't get mentioned..well..your fantastic! I love you! Marry me? Well anyway if you just want to be mentioned in my story :grins: then just review again! And I will mention you! Hurray for reviewing!**

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Girls Dormitories.

11:30am

Last night was amazing! The party was so good! Lily got just a bit FUCKED and stripped down to her underwear and danced around the common room. Potter looked a bit stunned really. Then she dragged him off to the boys dormitories and locked the door. Sirius, Peter & me tried to listen in through the door. We could hear a LOT of giggling and then a few crashing sounds and then James saying "Wha...OHMYGOD!" and then more giggling then a few kissing noises and then James saying "Lily are you sure, I think you're a bit out of it love" and then Lily slurring "Nah I love you cos you're SO HOT." and then there was kinda silence for a bit and then the sound of someone throwing up. Us three disappeared pretty sharpish after that.

And when we got downstairs Remus was dancing with not one but three girls who promptly dragged him into a closet (Remus was kicking and protesting - NOT!). Then Sirius drank more and so did I. Then we were dancing, it was really intense and I could feel all these people staring at us. Sirius was moving his hands all over me and i was moving my body with his. It was perfect. That is untill B.S. came over and dragged Sirius into a corner becuase they "needed to sort a few things out". Well anyway she dumped him and he came back over to me and just kissed me right then and there. And everyone was staring and it felt really good. Apparently B.S. ran out of the room crying.

About an hour after that Lupin re-appeared minus the girls but with a really huge smile on his face. And he whispered something to Sirius and they both started giggling. It was hilarious for some reason, these two 17 year old guys giggling to each other, so I started laughing too.

Peter was something else. He was dancing alone like nobody was watching him, making a really huge scene with all these drunken lunatics surrounding him cheering him on. The music they were playing was so loud all night (some favourite band of Sirius', kinda heavy rock type music with a female singer who Sirius assured me was "majorly hot") and Pettegrew (or Wormtail, I got told last night) was just acting like a lunatic. He hadn't actually drank that much, lightwieght.

After midnight I don't really remember much apart from Lily and James coming back downstairs, both looking a little less drunk but a LOT more sheepish, Sirius sitting down with a beer in one hand and me on his other arm, surrounded by Lupin and a few more boys who all treat Black and Potter like Gods, making some stupid joke and then me laughing really hard about it into his chest. Then I can remember little scenes from after that, where people seemed to come and go without me noticing. I remember me and Lily dancing to another song with Peter, I remember talking to James about the moon or something like that, I remember dragging Lupin onto a table and asking how many girls wanted to dance with him (alot of girls did, actually), I remember walking over to Sirius and having him giggle a bit at me and press another drink into my hand, I remember throwing up with Lily holding my hair back for me and then I remember walking downstairs only to see Sirius and James alow dancing with each other to a really fast song.

And then I woke up on the sofa next to Sirius (who wasn't wearing a shirt) at 9:30 this morning. I could hear Lily in the bathroom throwing up and I saw James on the floor under a matress, yawning and opening his eyes then seeing me and grinning. He'd shaken Sirius and shouted "OI PADFOOT" at him which had woken Black up. Then I looked around at the mess on the floor and groaned, picked my way into the girls dormitaries where I saw the other girls who shared our dorms sprawled out over there beds. And now I'm sitting here writing this with a HUGE headache and now I have to go help clear up before a teacher comes in and sees this.

So seeya.

1:15am.

Well everythings all tidy. Sirius and James suggested just leaving it to the house elves but I couldn't possibly be that mean! Well thank god its Saturday I can go and have another rest now. G'night.

3:40am

Just woke up.

While we were tidying up Sirius and James made up a song.

Sirius: _We partied all night, now we clean all day,_

James: _Evans was drunk and with me she did play._

Sirius: _James was a hero in catching the snitch,_

James: _I saw Lily half naked and she has some nice..._(Lily shouted "JAMES!")

Sirius: _Did you see the look on Snivelly's face?_

James: _I hope that he's..er...hit with a mace._

Sirius: _Prongs was "forced" to have sex with Evans, _(At this Lily stormed out of the room - she's really touchy about what she did last night. I think its her hangover.)

James: _And Padoot got dumped and then got off with Jess anyway the little whore._

Sirius: _Prongs, that didn't rhyme or fit._

James: _Oh yeah..well..whatever._

Sirius: _Moony was dancing and scoring with girls._

James:_And Wormtail was a little rat as usual._

Then they started laughing and kinda lost the rhythem. Those boys really are the greatest ever.

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Great Hall

6:30am

Dinner. Hmm..I'm quite hungry but I dont know what to eat..I might ask Lily whats low in calories.

6:35pm

Lily asked why I wanted to know what was low in calories and I told her I was on a diet. She then told me that I had drunk an awful lot of alcohol last night and alcohol is full of calories aparently. Oh shite. Well I suppose now I can't eat.

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Common Room

8:30pm

Things aren't going too great. For one thing I'm starving and for another I'm not sure whats going on with Sirius. I mean him and B.S. are definatly over (not to self: must find new nickname for B.S.), she was snogging Richard Turner this morning at breakfast, and Sirius didn't care at all. So does this mean me and him are like a couple now? He doesn't seem to be acting very boyfriend-ish though. He doesn't hug me or send me cute notes or anything like that. But he kissed me straight away right after they broke up. So maybe he was trying to get back at her. So even if we aren't going out should this be the right time to snatch him up before another girl has the chance to? But what if he treats me like he did to B.S? I mean I know she's an airheaded bitch and all but she didn't really deserve to be cheated on, then have it rubbed in her face, then seconds after dumping her boyfriend have him snogging some other girl like he hasn't a care in the world. I mean he was kinda harsh to her. So do I really want him as a boyfriend? But I've waited so long for him to like me I can't waste this chance! Oh I'm so confused. Must talk to Lily about it.

9:30pm

Lily said I should ask Sirius. but I mean..what if I just sound stupid and he doesn't really like me at all? Oh Godddd. I think I'll ask Remus too.

10:00pm

Remus said that Sirius was always like that with his girlfriends and maybe he shouldn't be number one on my boyfriend choice thing. Apparently I was less likely to get hurt if I was just like..the girl he snogs sometimes, becuase Remus says that Sirius gets bored of his girlfriends really quickly and isn't into the whole devotion thing anyway. So he was less likely to get bored of me if I wasn't an official girlfriend. Which makes sense, and I should trust Remus becuase he's known Sirius for ages and is good with this kinda stuff.

11:56pm (way to be precise)

The Marauders are planning a huge prank soon, and they wont tell anyone what it is. Hmm. I bet it's a bit dangerous really, I know what they're like. I heard them saying something like "..Snivelly will hate that." "Yeah thats the general idea Moony.." so I'm guessing it's something to do with Severus Snape. Who deserves it really. He hangs around with this really arrogant "dark arts" crowd. They aren't popular at all, but they think they are better than everyone else anyway. It includes Narcissa Black who is Sirius' cousin and they hate each other. I don't like her at all becuase apparently she saw me and Sirius going into the empty classroom and told someone "How could he possibly lower himself to that filthy blood traitor skank?" Which is REALLY mean. Just becuase I'm not into this stupid "Dark Lord" that they all seem to worship.

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Great Hall

12:30pm

Sirius was flirting with two very pretty girls in the entrance hall. It made me feel really bad. I hate it when hes with other girls it just makes me feel like I'm not good enough. I know I'm not exactly ugly or anything but he always goes for really really pretty girls.

_Jess! You are really REALLY pretty. Seriously you have great hair, its so dark brown and like chocolate or something, and you have nice clear skin and lovely blue eyes. You are BEAUTIFUL you hear me?_

Oh Lily, thanks, you're beautiful too. I love your hair, so red and nice and your eyes..so green..yeah now I sound like Potter but thanks anyway. But PLEASE stop magic-ing words into here with the stupid "Rettendia!" spell. Cos it gives me the fright of my life when I see someone elses handwriting just appearing across the page! Why don't you just ask me to write in my diary like you used to?

_This ways easier._

You did it again! And you're reading over my shoulder..stop it.

_Best friends don't have secrets._

Yeah yeah..you don't let me see your diary now do you?

Haha..that got rid of her, she blushed really hard and said she had to go to the library and return a book right now.

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LUNCHLUNCHLUNCH

Oh glorius food, why can't I eat you? I suppose its ungrateful to not eat this food that the house elves have lovingly prepared. I'll just have a tiny something.

3:00pm

My tiny something was a three course meal of soup, curry and then gateau. I think i look fatter. I must never eat again.

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_**A/N: REMEMBER TO TELL ME YOUR IDEAS FOR THE STORY.**_

_**Lovelovelove**_

_**Hayley.**_


	8. The Pranks

_Disclaimer: Apart from Jess, I do not own any of the characters, that honour resides with J.K.Rowling._

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**Chapter 8 - The prank/s.**

_**A/N: Ok I really do need Microsoft Word back. I don't have a spell checker! And I try my best :cries: but I'm just not a great speller. Sorry about that anyway! And also you guys don't say this story is funny. And its meant to be funny. But I get so involved in the plot that I forget about putting in the humour. So I will try to make it funny again. I'm sorry if you really hate my sense of humour and just think this story is crap...:(**_

_**Oh & SOO SORRY for the HUGE LONG AGES time since I've last updated, I've been sooo busy! Coursework & all that. But talk to me! Mt email address is on the main page! I love you all! Please REVIEW yay!**_

**Peanut99** - Wow thanks! Yeah poor ickle Jess. But meh I'm not gona tell you whats gonna happen, but Jess is gonna...change. Well thats all I'm saying. :) Thanks for reviewingggg.

**Jess Stone** - Hmm yeah I guess thats gonna happen anyway. But I shall not say. Muahahaha...yeah I'm lame.. :coughs: yes she shall make Sirius jealous. It will happen in my master plan. Am I giving away the plot here? Hmm.. :shuts up: Ha I'm glad the story reminds you of your life. It may be becuase I stole your diary..Nah I'm kidding don't hate/arrest me. Thanks for reviewing!

**Silent Storm 2000** - Thanks about the good writer compliment. You make me happy! Your KINDA right about whats gonna happen. Actually I dunno, I haven't decided yet. So muahaha you could be wrong. It's gonna be either one thing...or another thing. Ha. Thanks for reviewing like ALWAYS :D

**foodisgood** - NO! Remus isn't a slut. He was just drunk. And you gotta hand it to him he doesn't get enough of the girl action now really does he? But yeah I think I may just do him a little favour..:) Not like that! Like I'm gonna give him a happy ending. ALL the Marauders (+ Jess&Lily) have a happy ending. Oh except Peter, whos a crap Marauder anyway :hates him: yeah **HE'S GOIN' DOWN!** Thanks for reviewing!

**Mg-Nashisko** - Hmm good point, well..according to THIS story she's in the same year, 'kay? Thanks!

**GaryLovesPickles** - Um..here you go! Thanks!

**Bridsta05** - Thanks! i sure hope so!

**Go on review & then I will reply to it. Cos I'm lovely! And you love me! And my story! Yay!**

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Girls Dormitories.

10:30pm

Ahh, sunday. How I love thee.

Great Hall

11:00am.

No breakfast for me. Just a goblet of water. Good no-calories water.

11:10am

I got a letter! Hmm, who is it from?

11:15am

OMG! I have absolutely no idea who it was from. Er, let me show you:

_Jess._

_I have a surprise for you._

_Go to the astronomy tower at 9:30pm._

_See you there._

I don't know who that is! It could be anyone! Do I go? Better ask Lily.

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7:30pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh god!

The guys did it.

The prank.

They went through with it.

Ok I'll tell you what happened.

Lily & me walked into the Great Hall and everybody was kinda staring at us. It was really wierd, we half ran back to our table. And then just as the food was appearing and everybody was settled the stupid "Dark Arts" crowd walked in, throwing opening the doors to the Hall becuase they like to make an entrance, Narcissa Black at the front, behind her two unknown (to me) guys that were tallish and had not-very-nice sneers on their faces. Then behind them Severus Snape and a few other lower ranked girls. What posers. More to the point, what ammateurs.

So anyway they walk in and sort of stand there framed in the doorway for a minute, smirking around at all the tables, like they expect to have a fan blowing on them and photographers surrounding them. And then, wierdly, James stands up and starts clapping, slowly. Then Sirius stands up nest to him and claps too. Then at the same time so do Remus and Peter. The four of them are just standing there, clapping these Slytherins. And I look over at the teachers table and they are all kinda watching with interest, Dumbledore was kinda just smiling at the Marauders. It was wierd.

The Slytherins are still standing there.

And then James gives me and Lily 'a look', still clapping, and Lily sort of grins at me and drags me up and starts clapping, and I join in. And then some other boys from Gryffindor join in too, standing up and clapping at the "Dark Arts" crowd. (Mental note, call them the DAC).

Eventually all of Gryffindor are standing up and clapping, and I glance at Sirius and he's sort of smiling, really cool, at the DAC like his ingenious plan is going smoothly.

And THEN eventually Hufflepuff & Ravenclaw join in too. And these three tables are just standing there clapping at the DAC who are all frozen in their stupid doorway, like they don't know what to dow ith themselves. And I glance again at Dumbledoor and he's really smiling now, and he's studying the Marauders and smiling at them, like he knows whats coming.

And then Sirius and James looked at me and Lily. And Sirius was grinning at us and winking and James was mouthing "Duck."

So we did.

And once me and Lily were crouched under the table, all hell broke loose. I heard James and Sirius give a huge "WHOOOP!" and then I heard someone scream.

And then these four grinning faces are crouched under the table with us, and they are all putting their fingers to their mouths and I'm stuffing my hand into my mouth to stop myself giggling, becuase it dawns on me that this is REALLY hilarious. And then we hear lots of talking and then someone stepping across the room and then a huge swishing sound. And then some other people scream and I hear a teacher (Flitwick!) shouting "Quieten down, quieten down, we'll fix this is a jiffy!".

And then theres a sort of splatting sound and someone else screams and a few people laugh and then the Marauders quickly stand up and then we hear someone yell "OI!" and then more splatting sounds. And they appear under the table with us again, all laughing and I'm desperate to take a look at whats happening. But I daren't.

All I can hear is laughter and splats and shouts and screams.

And I can't resisit it anymore, I have to look.

And I see the DAC hanging in a net from the ceiling and covered in food. And then the rest of the school is throwing food. And its complete chaos and the loudest scream of all is Snape's. And I look back at him and he's gripping onto the others from the DAC and has his eyes shut tight. And he's just screaming so loudly.

I found out later that this was becuase Snapey has a HUGE fear of heights. Genius.

And then something hits the back of my head and Lily is yanking me back under the table and the five of them are all crouched there in histerics. And I join in. It was great. But then I heard Dumbledore and McGonagal arguing about something and then McGongal shouting "This is ridiculous!" and then suddenly everythings gone quiet apart from Snapes screams. And us four get back up and the whole hall is clean again and everyone is silent. And McGonagal is waling over to the net with the DAC in it and she says "Kindly be quiet Mister Snape, I'll get you down any moment now." And then she waves her wand and the DAC all come crashing to the floor. And McGonagal smirks and sweeps around and heads back upp to the teachers table and the DAC are all in a pile on the floor and groaning in pain. Then Dumbledore stands up and says "Dismissed." And everyone files out, most of them making sure to treat on the DAC as they head through the doorway. It was great.

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11:30pm

Ok I found out who the note was from. I'll start at the begining, just for suspence's sake.

So at 9 I'm all ready and heading up to the tower. It'll take me half an hour to get up there what with the sneaking round. I couldn't find Lily to tell her where I was going, but I just figured that her and Potter had sneaked off to shag in a broom closet or something.

So I get there kinda late becuase I had to hide for 10 minutes in a closet to avoid Filch and that damn cat. And I walk into the room alll suspence, wonderign who was in there. And its all dark and I can't see. And then I mutter "lumos" and I see through my wandlight, Lily, James, Sirius, Peter & Remus. And I'm thinking, Oh shit.

And Lily lights al the lamps in the room and its light and she's all "Hey."

Well what do I say to THAT!

I'll tell you what i say.

I say "Hey." right back.

She goes: "Sit down." and theres a chair in the middle of the floor and Sirius is grinning at me and he kind of does a fancy hand gesture towards it.

So I sit.

And then Lily says, "Jess, basically, I know you've been starving yourself to get thin and -"

"Wait!" I inturrupt

"- and we think its utterly ridiculous. Look at you, you're as skinny as a rake."

"OI!" I yelled, angrily. Hell yeah I was angry. They'd dragged me up here for THIS! And if you want the truth I was kinda humiliated too. I mean it was obvious I'd come up here expecting to meet a boy. And instead I was here to get probed about my dieting infront of the boy I fancy like mad and his three best mate. So yeah I was pretty much humiliated.

They all waited for me to say something else.

"Um, I'm not straving myself." I finish, really meekly.

"Yeah you are! Look at you, your so skinny mate, its unhealthy to not eat." say james, which I think is really sweet of him and I smile at him and I'm starting to feel better untill he adds, "And we all know whats its for Jess (he looks pointedley at Sirius and they kinda smirk at each other) and trust me mate, you've got no worries there."

I'm blushing BRIGHT red by this time. Jesus.

"Yeah!" Sirius adds " Listen Jess it's really sweet of you to go to all this trouble just for me. Lily told me about how you were upset. But I think your great."

AAARRRGGGHHHHH!

This is becoming a sort of we-feel-sorry-for-Jess-so-lets-compliment-her-shall-we-? fest. I look pointedly at Lily and fix her with a death glare. She has the decency to look ashamed.

"Sorry." she says quickly, looking down. I realisse that she's blushing too, but I'm in no mood to sympathise with HER problems. "Listen Jes just start eating normally and none of us will have to worry about you, okay?"

I feel like yelling "NO!" at her then walking right out of the room, but I don't wanna act like a complete drama queen infront of Sirius.

I sigh. "Fine. Whatever. Now can we go back to the common room please?"

They all smile infuriatingly, like their job has been done and James announces "Lets stop by the kitchens first, I'm dyin' for a cuppa hot chocolate."

When we're all standing in the kitchens after the house elves have whipped up some hot chocolate for us all Lupin skoots over to me and mutters "Sorry about all that Jess, it must have been rather embarresing. i did try to talk them out of it, but once Lily let slip about you dieting James and Sirius seemed to think that this would be a GREAT way to fill up their boring Sunday evening."

I smiled at him and hugged him unexpectedly. None of hug each other and I got a few wierd looks from the others but nobody commented. Infact Remus looked rather red and grinned at me.

And now I'm gonna go to bed since this has all tired me out.

_**A/N: HURRAH! An update! Finally! You love me! Now I promise there wont be an update for as long LOOONNNGG time unless you REVIEW! The more reviews the faster I update, promise! I'm kinda busy atm with it being GCSE year and everything, but I'll try my best!**_

_**Lovelovelove**_

_**Hayley.**_


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